Imagine no internet for nearly a week.
well actually that’s not strictly true, Imagine internet connection so bad that you don’t know from one minute to the next whether you’re going to get that email confirming the address to which you absolutely have to post something to today, not knowing whether you will be able to login to your internet banking to transfer money from one account to another because oops you’re overdrawn. so now you think to yourself oh no, I’ve got an order to do and I’ve run out of that colour, I’ll order some more on-line, having a laugh aren’t you? cant get connected long enough to even put things in the basket let alone check out successfully…ah ha! you think, I know, I’ll phone my order in! oh no you wont! cause the phone lines just as rubbish, sounds like you’re standing next to a busy motorway with the phone at arms length facing the other way shouting at it! and as for the poor people who phone you…hello, sorry I cant hear you, the phone lines awful, sorry its mrs who? oh right your necklace? Friday you say? ok, we’ll see you friday. having no idea if she said last friday this friday, wants to wear it/post it do something with it on friday, by friday, is coming in friday, cant come in on friday, frantically hoping that a) you have the right person, and b) that they did mean that they want to collect it on friday.
meanwhile you have phoned the phone company (from a mobile of course, the expensive way) been kept on hold to some god awful music for half an hour, and even if you wanted to listen to it you cant because every thirty seconds an annoying woman cuts in and says ‘thankyou for holding, you are being moved up in the queue’ they tell you (eventually) that they will run tests.
no results of testing are reported to you. so you phone again, oh, there’s no problem with our side, so it must be a problem inside your property, and you’ll have to pay if it is. OK, so do it, flipping well get it fixed we are trying to run a business here!!
then the weekend happens and nothing gets done.
finally a man comes around to our property and starts actually doing something visible. and testing and checking our line, not weirdly remotely checking it. and he finds some old cabling to be the problem and sorts it within the time it takes a workman to drink two cups of tea. oh, and its their side of our box, so it is their fault and they don’t have to charge us.
one teeny tiny little thing that you would need to know to complete this picture of frustration fully is that this phoneline, is my only one, being as I work from home. so no domestic, recreational internet use either. missed that episode of something, watch it on Iplayer? oh no you won’t! and by the time the internets back on, said episode has been replaced by the next weeks one. and I’d gotten so used to just watching a couple of programs when I had the time, not delayed until god knows when because the poxy football was on, I enjoyed living in a big brother, tennis and football free land.
so that was my week without internet. and now I’m back, just you try and stop me!